i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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