Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
