my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you didnt know i had herpes?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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