is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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