listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
