your thong is hanging out like whoa
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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