i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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