i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
