I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
