best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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