Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I deserve this hangover.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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