oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Life is so much better after having sex.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
