Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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