We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
