I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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