if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
time to smoke my breakfast
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Sext me about skeletons
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
