im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
