I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my being single is dangerous.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm bleeding and have questions
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
