What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
