So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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