I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
