i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
