I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
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They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
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A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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