I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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