pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
