yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
