So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize