If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
