At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
