If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
