Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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