"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
