I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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