Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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