Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
