They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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