doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
