I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
How naked do you want me to be?
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