How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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