I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
COCAINE IS GR8
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
