Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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