and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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