is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
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We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
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AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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