I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
