we have pet lesbian snakes
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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