so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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