I molested 6 butterflies tonight
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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