I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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