Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
