This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
