i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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