I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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