I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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