you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So much rum. So many feels.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
