Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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