I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
