DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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