Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
