Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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