my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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