I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
