If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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