i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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