Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Never underestimate the power of titties
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
