I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
