so that wasnt chicken after all
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
