you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
