I just made out with a guy for $7.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
