I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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