I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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