is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
